It’s easy to get caught up.
Your best friend is stressed out at her job and NEEDS to fill you in on the incessant water cooler drama on the daily.
Your coworker never stops bothering you for advice about his failing love life.
Your cousin calls you every other day to hang but you know if you do, you’ll be exhausted within five seconds because you’ll definitely be playing the role of therapist, shoulder to cry on, court jester, dog sitter, house cleaner…heck…you’ll probably end up doing her taxes.
Boundaries are as important as the walls of your home.
You don’t let everyone you meet come into your bedroom and start eating tortilla chips in your bed.
I don’t have to tell you this, because you already know how creating boundaries can massively shift your life from chaos to calm, right?
You already know that boundaries are what allows us to have joy and peace of mind in our lives, right?
Well, just in case you are one of the many people who are still going to sleep with their phone next to the bed or say yes to anything and everything because you are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings or you believe you will be a bad person, I’m about to give you permission to let it go.
I promise, you won’t feel a thing, and sometimes, that’s exactly what you want.
A lot of us lack healthy boundaries in work, love and especially in our family. We let people come so close, we can smell their breath… instead of keeping them at a safe distance.
Let’s take charge! Dum da da daaaa!!
Guess what?! We are not responsible for other people’s feelings.
We DO NOT need to respond to every Facebook message. We DO NOT need to check our phone every time we hear the ding.
It took me a trip to Australia to figure this out.
Waking up eight hours (and a day before) the rest of “my” world was waking up … well it was impossible to respond on demand.
And guess, what? “My” world got on fine without me.
We absolutely do not need to let these things drain us ‘til we’re running on empty.
So I decided I didn’t need to be addicted to my phone anymore. Prior to my trip across the entire world, I believed that if I didn’t respond to a message from someone right away, I wasn’t doing my J.O.B of being a good friend, colleague, whatever. This thought would cause me serious anxiety.
So I created clear boundaries. I took charge. I made new rules for myself…like only checking messages at specific times throughout the day. And not responding if I didn’t feel like it!
My choices, my boundaries…helped me take back control.
Guess what? I didn’t even have to share my “boundaries” with anyone. Just creating them made me feel better.
We love our family and friends. We love to help others. We love to give.
But let’s give to ourselves first, hey?
The only way we’re going to truly help our crazy drama queen cousin is…not by doing her taxes…it’s by taking care of ourselves first so we have the energy to help her see the light.
Decide to let go. You’re not responsible for other people’s feels.
Decide to love yourself.
And don’t tell me you don’t love anything. You do. Even if its the new cream blusher and highlighter you just treated yourself to that makes your cheekbones glow. Or those new yoga pants that make you feel amazing in your skin.
A lack of self-esteem can make for shaky boundaries. Think about what you want your boundaries to be. They’re your core values!
Then stand strong and clearly COMMUNICATE to someone if they’re crossing the line.
For example:
“If you are more than 15 minutes late, I will leave.”
“If you talk to me in that tone, I will walk away.”
“If you message me after 8pm I will most likely not respond.”
Stand up for what you want and need for a healthy life. Listen to your intuition.
Start paying attention to those close-talkers and take a step back.
Let’s feel the peace instead of the chaos.
Have you set some healthy boundaries in your life? Let me know in the comments below!
Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, Kick-A$$ Business Guru, 7 Figure MOM-treprenuer. and passionate about empowering others to live the life of their dreams and is based in Boulder, CO. Hayley creates lifestyle transformations by coaching her clients to become the best WHOLE version of themselves possible. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
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